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This afternoon we had a new guy show up at the House of Hospitality, although we've encountered him on Street Outreach 2-3 times. We've spoken about him in a previous post. Today he expressed wanting to go to rehab for his problem with alcohol.
The first time he was drunk was when he was 13 years old, and that was with his father. Throughout his teenage years he was more into smoking pot (marijuana) then he was into alcohol. He explained it was until he was about 19-20 years old that he really started drinking heavily. Over the past 20 years, the longest he's ever been sober is 10 months and that was with the help of AA. Part of today was spent phoning different rehabs to see who had room available; the best rehab that Nathaniel prefers to send people to denied him because he is HIV positive. So that was pretty unfortunate.
A lot of the men Emmaus encounters talk about getting jobs, going to rehab, or following through with this or that; but it's the following through part that's the problem. So although this guy says he wants to go to rehab and get back to a normal life, we're trying not to get our hopes up too much because in this type of ministry it's pretty common for people to fall back into their old habits.
This evening, Roger went to a young people's meeting (20-30 years old) called Cafe Catholica to recruit people to volunteer and to promote Emmaus. Several people signed up for information on volunteering and to be put on the Emmaus mailing list.
I think we mentioned that Nathaniel is out of town this weekend and Brian is gone until the end of the month, so we I were on our own. We both felt pretty confident about it but, we wish we could say that sentiment was shared among the hustlers. Friday night, when we went out on Street Outreach, we had 4 different hustlers tell us, "Be careful tonight," or "Take care of yourselves," or some other phrase that conveyed their concern for our safety. Each time I walked away kind of confused and said to Roger, "Do people normally say that kind of stuff to you?" Roger said, "No, but that's because one of us is usually with Nathaniel."
We concluded that everyone must see us as being really young and innocent. As one of the hustlers put it, "I have one foot in paradise and one in the grave. You two have both feet in paradise and yet, you choose to come here." We thought that was a really interesting way to describe what he was doing. He has one foot in paradise, probably meaning a family, a nice home, and a nice job. His other foot, the one that wants to be in a neighborhood like Montrose to do drugs and to hustle, is in the grave.
Despite the 'young and innocent' barrier we had to climb last night, we still ended up having good conversations with quite a few men. We even met one new hustler, who has only been on the street for about 4 weeks. He claimed to be very interested in rehab because he desperately wants to be off the streets.
Another interesting conversation last night was with a man that Nathaniel and I had spoken to before at Cousin's, the drag bar. He was telling us that he has to make $100, which is about 50 pounds, each night. He's in 40s, which is considered old for a hustler. This means he has to take less per trick in order to make the amount he needs. He told us when he gets desperate he takes his shirt off. Younger hustlers say that making money is so easy; that's why oftentimes they are hesitant to leave that lifestyle because money is consistent and plentiful. $100 is enough for a hotel room (aprox. $60-70), food (maybe $15), and just enough left over for drugs or alcohol. He told us the other night he made close to $250. One would assume that since he made more than usual that night he would take a night off from hustling, but instead he spent it on alcohol.
This morning we ran the House of Hospitality. Usually just one or two guys show up, but three showed up today so we were pretty psyched! It was a little difficult because the men always have to be accompanied so in that sense we were out numbered, but everything worked out fine. The new guy that showed up became very chatty after lunch was over and pretty much opened up about a lot of different things.
He told us that is mom had given him weed (Marijuana) at the age of four years old. When he and his sister were fighting or rowdy, (aka being kids) she would tell them to smoke a joint to make them stop. He said he's not angry with his mom and doesn't hold her responsible. He thinks it's a great thing she did, exclaiming, "Weed's the greatest thing ever!" It's no wonder that he's hooked on the drugs he is now if his first drug experience was at the age of four and encouraged by his own mom. Roger and I were both pretty bothered by this. It just seems like such an unfair start to life.
Last night, I went out with Gail, who has been volunteering with Emmuas for about a year and a half, on Street Outreach. I struggle writing about a night out on the streets. There's always the dilemma of what details to include, so that you can understand what it's like out there as well as understand the men we meet, in a way that doesn't break their confidence. The least I can say about last night is, it was slightly unusual.
We walked into the usual areas and stood on a specific street corner most known for prostitution. Try and imagine: it is a busy corner, the hustlers are hanging around, coming and going. The drug dealers are always just near by down the street usually standing in the darkness. There's a bar called 611 right on the corner (here's a short review on it) and a club 
just opposite as well, which makes it the perfect place to sell what ever it is you have to offer. So for us, this a a great place just to sit on the curb side and speak to who ever is willing to join us.
Very soon after we had arrived I hear a guy shout out, "Hey man!" As I turned round 'the man with the chain' was walking up with a massive smile on his face, and his hand out to greet me. He seemed pleased to see us. We sat and started to chat. After a while we all headed off to a local pharmacy to get some bug spray as we were all getting bitten by mosquitoes. Oh and by the way I have 15 new bits just from last night and they really itch. Anyway during the walk he started to open up to us about his past life. Needless to say he has seen it and done it all: hustling, drug dealing, shootings, and a lot of time in prison, for different reasons. And of course he is still involved in a lot of that.
He has a great knowledge of the Bible. A lot of these men have been brought up in a church or have been ministered to while on the streets or in prison. But as he puts it he, "is not living a sanctified life." In other words, he is not being changed to be more like Jesus. He explained that he knows to be more like Jesus it is a partnership between him and God. He is completely right; he needs to want to change just as much as God wants to change him.
It was nice to have an honest chat with him about his relationship with God. A lot of these guys, him being one, would class themselves as Christians. They know that they not only need to ask God for forgiveness, which many of them have done, but to live a life that is pleasing to God. That's the part where they are struggling, and seems to be where Emmaus Ministries comes in, to help them live out their Christian faith in accordance with the Bible.
We arrived back to 611 and sat down again on the curb side. Soon after, we were joined
by a new guy. He had been out on the streets since 1989. I straight away noticed something square-shaped tucked under his sock. As we chatted he told us that he had been working out of a motel and hasn't worked around here for quite a while because he is getting too old and soft for the streets. He said he's getting tired of this life now. He reached down to his sock and pulled out his wallet and showed me an address to a good rehab unit in Houston. They had agreed to take him into a one-year program of drug rehab. He had come down last night to say good bye to an old friend of his but had found out that he was in jail.
Like most nights, the cops were driving up and down the streets. We started to joke around that we were going to get moved on soon, when two cop cars pulled up. The policemen got out of the cars and said (pointing at Gail, myself, and two other hustlers standing next to us) put your hands on the hood (bonnet) of the car. As we started to stand up Gail pointed at our name badges and said that we were with Emmaus Ministries the officer looked at his watch and seeing the time told us to sit back down. After the three officers frisked the hustlers and let them go, he came and had a chat with us. He was nice, he asked what we were doing and in one sense showed a good interest. As he walked away he shouted out to us, "Stay safe!"
Remember the posting a couple of days ago where we mentioned "that some guy attacked another guy with a thick steel chain"? Well, guess who came to the House of Hospitality today?! The Guy with the Chain!! During lunch, I asked him, "Haven't I seen you before?" And he explained that I had seen him on Tuesday night. Then it occurred to me, "You're the guy with the chain!" He laughed and said, "Did I look pretty angry that night." I said he did. He explained that the fight was over an unresolved financial issue where a guy owed him some money but wasn't willing to pay it. I asked if he had gotten hurt during the fight, to which he replied, "I was the one with the chain, remember?"
we really enjoyed getting to know him. He has an interest in God and the Bible and can quote scripture and stories. He explained that during time spent in jail, he and some other inmates would have bible studies and prayer time together. When he got out of jail it meant that he had lost his Christian network. He is struggling with drugs and has been prostituting on and off for the last 14 years. One thing that Nathaniel commented on was his honesty. The fight a couple of nights ago, for instance; he came right out and said what he had done and why he had done it. He didn't try to play it off as if he had been attacked or try to convince us of the other guy's wrong doing. He was very open and straightforward about everything. If there was something he didn't want to talk about he just stated that, rather than coming up with some wild story. Roger and I both tend to trust Nathaniel's judgment of character when it comes to these guys.
I had a really interesting chat with one of the other guys who came to the House of Hospitality today. He's come about twice before and is always pretty open to chatting. He admitted to me that he is back to using drugs again. It was kind of a blow because he was coming up for almost 10 days without using, which is the longest he's ever gone. We were all praying for him and trying to encourage and support his decision to stop using. He explained, "I didn't go out looking for drugs, but instead it found me." He didn't get into details, but basically I think he means that someone else had some drugs and offered it to him and he was too weak to resist. He said, "I wish I could just walk away from situations like that."
As we kept talking about it, he asked what I thought to be an extremely thought-provoking question: Why do we poison ourselves? Drugs are similar to alcohol and cigarettes in the sense that it does damage and is addictive, although maybe a bit more, but for the most part it has the same affect. So why is it that the human race enjoys poisoning themselves?
Last night, we all went over to Nathaniel's for dinner; his wife, Catherine also joined us, which was nice. We met to discuss our reading for this week, The Soul of the Apostolate by Dom Jean-Baptiste Chautard. Even though it was a hard read the author had a very good message: ministry done without relying on Jesus and calling on his powers is, as the author puts it 'stupid self-conceitedness'. Nathaniel wants us not only to minster to the men but also to grow in our relationship with God during our time out here, this book was one way of helping us in that. After dinner, all 4 of us went on outreach. It was 2 teams: Lail and Brain, and Roger and Nathaniel.
Nathanial and I had some good conversations with the men that night. We met a couple of new hustlers. This isn't unusual as these men are always moving around the country or are in and out of jail. One unfortunate incident of the night, was, that we did get eggs thrown at us I think out of a car.
We also got into a conversation with one of the hustlers that got very angry at Nathaniel. Apparently, this guy had sent off for his Social Security ID, however it got lost in the post so Emmaus never received it. The men use Emmaus' address to have post sent to them as a lot of them are homeless. In the States, you can't do anything with out an ID, so in order for him to get a job or housing, and eventually get off the streets ID is essential. Instead of talking to the post office, this man thought it would be better to take his anger out on Nathaniel. Nathaniel said that is not unusual behavior for him - but that didn't make it any nicer.
The evening for Brian and me was slightly better than the previous night. We had a few good conversations with the hustlers. One in particular was with a man, who is not a hustler, but is a homosexual man in his 40s who used to bar tend in the Montrose area for about 12 years. He's now a chef in the city but still comes back to the area to party. This man was raised Catholic and is extremely angry and cannot seem to reconcile his past with Catholicism. He kept exclaiming, "Catholics are messed up, man!" (He didn't use the word "messed," but I think you guys can figure out what word he used instead). He said the the Catholic church is the perfect place for pedophiles to hide out.
He kept saying, "I love God and he loves me...but I will never go to church again." I asked him what he thought it meant to love God, to which he repeated his previous statement. I forgot to mention that he was pretty drunk so having a conversation with him was quite difficult. I asked him if he would agree that to love God means to serve Him, to worship Him, to submit to His will, and to read His word? But he just said,"Hell no!" The conversation sort of kept going like that for about 30-40 minutes. He talked a lot about how hard it was for him in high school being gay and being terrorized, and beat up on a daily basis, by the other students. Brian and I could tell there had been a lot of past hurt in his life and we were only scratching the surface. I really hope to be able to talk to him again, maybe even have a sober conversation with him.
Around 12am Brian and I were sitting on the curb outside of a bar. It's a really good place to sit because a lot of people walk by and often 1 or 2 hustlers will come and sit with you. A police car was slowly driving down the street and stopped by us. One of the hustlers came to our defense and said, "They're just church people." The police officer, in his Texan drawl said, "Take your ministry some place else! We don't allow people to just sit on the curb!" We didn't hesitate to comply, we just moved on. It wasn't worth getting into it with him.
All in all, we can both say that our experiences with outreach has been very good. The only bad things are the mosquitoes! Every night after outreach we both come home with fresh bites! The joke goes: What's the state bird of Texas? Give up? Mosquitoes!!
There's an article that is pretty interesting; it's called Battle Scars. We should warn you though, it's pretty crude, but very informative about life as a hustler.
